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But “longer” is a relative term, and I’m wondering what your definition of that is – and what your definition of “premature ejaculation” is, to boot. Often, when you’ve been with someone a while and you both become more comfortable and familiar with each other’s bodies and your own sexual responses, sex can last longer. Many men (and people with penises: trans women and nonbinary people can have penises, too, although I’ll refer to men here, as your partner is man) finish quickly the first few times they have sex with a new person – understandably! Sex with a new person is exciting and nerve-racking and a host of other feelings and sensations that might make them orgasm quickly. You’ve only been having sex for a month so are still in that novel, crazily charged and excited stage of your attraction to each other, which can affect performance. I do have advice, although it may not be the type you were hoping for, because I’m not convinced your partner has a problem.
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I don’t know how to bring it up or how to deal with this problem. He’s generous in bed when it comes to paying me attention and performing oral sex, but he really does not last long – a few minutes at most. I really like him, but I’m a bit worried he suffers from premature ejaculation. We’ve been together two months and have been having sex for a month. Dear Roe – I’m a 31- year- old woman, and I’ve just started a new relationship with a man.